I have been so intrigued by all of these posts. I keep thinking about posts I would like to write, such as "Let's Talk Feng Shui" (I believe in Feng Shui), "Let's Talk About Our Mothers" (their habits are either ingrained in us or rebelled against ... and I think it's fascinating to talk about), and finally, "KILL THE TOYS" (the toys multiply and replenish and take over time after time after time and I do not know how this happens). However, today I will only write this post: "2 Gospel Principles That Do Not Motivate Me." And then I will go and clean out my hall closet. Or read more blogs. Or whatever.
Perhaps they shouldn't be dubbed "principles." You wouldn't find either of these as major topics in the Gospel Principles lesson manual. Let's call them "facets of the gospel or facets of our gospel culture."
1. Perfectionism - "Be Ye Therefore Perfect." NO! I will not! Because I cannot. And therefore I will not try. It's taken me awhile to come to the realization that it is a futile venture to embark upon perfection. It is a maddening undertaking. And, so, I have set "above average mediocrity" as my aim. And I feel so much better. It really does not work for me to try to be perfect. So when people talk about that in church, I think of something to the effect of "be ye therefore a little better and try a little harder." Little I can do. Perfect I cannot.
2. Guilt - I used to think that feeling guilty meant I recognized a better way and was headed for it. But although I was headed for it, I was always falling short and feeling terrible about it. What a drag to be around someone who is always racked with guilt! I was annoyed hanging around my own guilt-racked self! Enter: Adam Ware. It's never even occurred to him to feel guilt. He lives his life, does his best, and doesn't apologize. Meeting him and learning this new way of approaching life has changed me for the better. (I wouldn't be surprised if many of you could relate to finding this trait in the men in your life ... I think guilt is part of the female DNA, especially the religious, ambitious female, and is less present in the male population at large.) Guilt, in my opinion, works best when it's got a short window of time. Feel guilty for sin, yes. But then make restitution and get on with it! That's when it's most effective for the betterment of the spiritual soul.
So, take it or leave it, the gospel according to Martha. Don't let your cleaning drag you down to a state of endless woe, yo! What doesn't motivate you when it comes to getting your house in order?
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one writing blog posts in my head and not finding my way to the keyboard to publish them!
ReplyDeleteAlso, guilt=zero motivation to clean. I'll post the name of that book about shame and vulnerability (author C. Brene Brown).
I really like your "short window of time" statement about guilt. To constantly experience it doesn't seem to do any good, right?
ReplyDeleteYour #2 section reminded me of something Justin has said to me several times, "You like to worry." I'd get all defensive inside, "I don't like to worry, there is just a lot to worry about and someone has to think through it all and be concerned and so the worry comes..."
ReplyDeleteBut I am realizing that I can just let go of the worry and still do all the prep and thinking. Maybe worry was a choice. Is guilt the same? Is unnecessary guilt a choice we make (not very consciously of course)by lack of mental or emotional discipline or perspective or trust in the Savior?
Thoughts?
So I never feel guilty. never. Unless we are talking sin and even then the last time I felt guilty (that I can remember) was high school. Since it seems that every one else feels guilt more often than that, it occurs to me that maybe we just define "feeling guilty" differently. For example, yesterday during Ash's nap and Mad's preschool I wasted time on the computer instead of cleaning. When it was time to go pick up Mad, I thought to myself that I really should have cleaned but then I just shrugged it off. Do you all consider that feeling guilt? Or is guilt a little bit more than that?
ReplyDeleteI am currently defining "guilt" in my scripture study. What I have come up with is that most of us suffer from "false guilt" more than moral/lawful guilt. Of course we should feel guilt for sin, it leads to remorse, repentance, forgiveness and then yes, MOVE ON!
ReplyDeleteI think as women we suffer more often from "false guilt". False guilt has nothing to do with what's true and accurate, nor is it related to true repentance. Rather, it is usually the fear of disapproval in disguise.
And it's got be a guy thing. Braden Hamm...no guilt, just lives and loves and does his best.